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Report: Airlines Installing Uncomfortable Bumps In Seatbacks Because It Pleases Them

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NEW YORK—According to sources throughout the commercial aviation sector, the nation’s airlines will begin installing awkwardly placed bumps in every airplane seatback this week because it reportedly brings great pleasure to them (www.theonion.com) 更多...

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microflight
Jame Meer 10
If this were so, the airlines would be claiming it was a feature - lumbar support
dkline201
Dale Kline 3
And probably charging more for the feature!
joelwiley
joel wiley 3
Or make them pneumatic, and rent out the 'deflator'.
dkline201
Dale Kline 2
ewww, Considering the location of that 'bump', I don't think I want to be near when they deflate it!
daveduca
Dave Duca 10
Just like some of the Palin stories, I had to double check. Yes, it is The Onion. However, after seeing what Smisek has done to United, I had to double check.
Bridgeda
Bridgeda 19
The joke does have an important point, though. It's simply an exaggeration of actual practices. It's not so far from charging extra for aisle or window seats, charging extra for being able to board just marginally sooner than the other passengers, and charging extra for water and basic courtesy items. This model of finding ways to charge customers extra for standard expectations is a negative quality system. That is, the process of continuous improvement in customer satisfaction has been replaced with the ultimate quest to find extract money. Eventually, the extraction of money will lead to a collapse within the system because it does not serve the customers.
amiablebird
Ed Merriam 6
this explains both why cattle class is getting worse (to push people into the higher-priced classes) and the sudden proliferation of Economy Plus, Economy Minus, Economy Business classes: it's plain old salami tactics--you can upsell a lot more if a plane has 5-6 subtly-graded categories of seat

[This poster has been suspended.]

GriffinOngsinco
Vince Griffin 0
Are you kidding? You really should find another way to rip people off Claire Rudd if this is really your name.
wopri
Vince, it's better not to respond to these messages. Sooner or later they will be deleted, and then your answer looks like an attack on the preceding message. You can help accelerate the elimination of the offending message by first down voting it and then clicking on the report button underneath it.
Tiggerflute
Martha Aarons 1
Yes, I've been reporting these myself.
preacher1
preacher1 31
Isn't the Onion wonderful?
wopri
And still people vote this down. No sense of humour?
canuck44
canuck44 46
Actually the down votes probably came from Airline Executives wondering how the Onion discovered their plot.
busheyrk
Yes it is. We need more of this type of humor
Doobs
Dee Lowry 1
Preacher- Only "Onion" can tell it like it is...in a very humorous way! Love it!
sueridge307
sueridge307 1
Yes it's a milestone as a surveillance aircraft
WhiteKnight77
WhiteKnight77 12
Gotta love The Onion. Anyone who takes that site seriously needs to go to the doctor and see if he can find the missing sense of humor.
feknight
Fred Knight 6
My favorite Onion airline story was about cabin pressurization only being free for first class, and that economy had to pay extra if they wanted air. The same article mentioned that some airlines were going to stop using the wheels for landings on flights less than 1 hour. It was hilarious.
Helicrazy14
I've been on a flight where during the safety briefing the flight attendant said "In the event of a depressurization, 4 designer oxygen masks will drop in front of you ... Even if the bag does not inflate, we guarantee you are reviving oxygen, though it would help if you insert 50 cents for the first 3 minutes and 25 cents for every additional minute". She also made a bunch of other jokes during it to make it entertaining while still getting the required information across. By the way this was on a Southwest airlines B738
canuck44
canuck44 2
It might get missed unless the doctor is a Proctologist.
JohnMasterjohn
A lot of Democrats took it seriously when they did there Palin spoof. They were repeated on the nightly news.
akovia
akovia 0
As if Faux Snooze doesn't continuously put out phony stories.
jshhmr
josh homer 1
Yep Fox has reported some Onion stories as fact. Obama, emails, an "Abortionplex," padded bra ban by muslims. Too many to list. We won't even discuss how many times they switched an R to a D when reporting political scandals lol.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 0
Odd... I have Fox News on all day long, everyday. I work at home with my own business. So, I catch about 60-70% of what's reported. I don't recall any such stories.

So, I assume you can provide a credible, objective source that validates this claim?
pthomas745
Pa Thomas 3
This comment is funnier than the Onion story. Never read Media Matters? Never watch Jon Stewart?
Bobqat
He said "credible, objective source".
KennyFlys
Ken Lane -4
You mean the "Media Matters" with a very leftist agenda and startup was funded by the very leftist George Soros? Initially, he hid his contributions by funneling the money through his group, Open Society Institute. It is unknown how much that was though his total contribution to Soros.org is more than $8 Billion. Then in 2010 he directly contributed $1 Million. He gave $1.8 Million to NPR. He spent $27 Million trying to defeat George Bush in 2004.

Everyone goes on and on about Charles and David Koch but they completely ignore George Soros. Soros has outspent the Koch brothers by three to one in leftist political efforts.

Media Matters? Yeah, I've seen their stuff. It's very well edited for context. They took lessons from George Schultz at MSNBC.

And, Jon Stewart? Seriously??? That's your credible news source? Gosh, what was the name of the network his show was on? Perhaps you can remind me!

Don't challenge me on politics and the Constitution unless you can do better than that. You'll sooner win an argument with a safety inspector for busting DFW Class Bravo with a student certificate.
pthomas745
Pa Thomas 4
Why, yes, credible news sources. They use actual footage from Fox to prove their points. THE ACTUAL FOOTAGE. You can turn the sound off and watch for yourself.
GeoAnas
Geo Anas 2
Seriously guys... all channels report to some political power, whether they are democrats or republicans. And both parties get millions to support their campaigns from various sources and in turn support and get supported by their "own"channels. Don't be like babies, pretending your side is better...
And you don't need a "credible source" to understand that all you see on the news has been screened to convince those that don't think.
And Ken, if you don't like the sources, don't believe them. Republicans (at least some politicians of theirs to be accurate) still believe that god made Adam and Eva... So, let's not take about who believes the Onion stories when they believe mythological stories as real.
To clarify, I'm not American and don't care to take sides about this "who's better", at least to what it has to do with its effect to your internal affairs. By the way, I googled it and apparently, it's Fox Nation that gets more confused by the Onion articles, rather than Fox News instead.
Anyhow, keep the discussion on aviation....
KennyFlys
Ken Lane -2
I made no mention of, "who's better". I'm speaking strictly in terms of credibility.

By the way, I'm not a Republican. I'm a conservative. There's a distinct difference, these days.

When you make a claim, you'll have to back it up. Most of the time someone points at Fox News, they're proving they don't know the difference between news reporting and commentary/opinion.

Oh... just so you know, "Fox Nation" is an opinion section under the Fox News domain.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 3
Ummm.... George Schultz is a Republican and served in Nixon's & Reagan's Cabinets. Never knew he was on MSNBC. I gotta watch more Fox I suppose.

One thing you have to admire is the flexibility of the Right Wingers. As soon as anything embarrassing happens to the GOP (Palin, Trump, Gohmert, Bush) they all suddenly drop the GOP affiliation and become independents or conservatives. At least till things blow over.
preacher1
preacher1 2
Well, putting the Onion and Fox news aside, the RNC needs some embarrassment this day and time. The others named up here, especially Trump, are saying things that are on the minds of people that may vote this goround that haven't in times past. They need to start listening. Common people are rising to take this country back from the world of Politico.
WALLACE24
WALLACE24 2
Now that's a sermon every day Americans appreciate.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 0
Oops, wrong name. I meant Ed Schultz. By the way, he was recently canned from MSNBC.

I wish there was an edit feature on this site.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 4
I knew what you thought you meant, but hey, you said not to challenge you.

Remember when Fox reported that it cost $200 million a day for one of Obama's trips, and it took 34 warships? Ahhh, good times.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane -5
Citation, please? From a credible, objective source.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 7
"will be accompanied by 40 aircraft, 3,000 people, a fleet of cars and 34 warships, according to a string of blow-by-blow news updates. The Press Trust of India quoted an official in the state of Maharashtra pegging the cost at $200 million a day.

Obama's said to have booked the entire Taj Mahal Palace hotel and, according to The Wall Street Journal, Mumbai officials have ordered coconuts plucked from palm trees outside a memorial the president is scheduled to visit to ensure there are no bumps on the noggin. In Delhi, the president's second stop, monkeys have been the subject of a municipal crackdown. "

Fox News http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/11/04/security-entourage-earning-epic-reputation-ahead-obama-india-visit/
KennyFlys
Ken Lane -6
Good grief....

Look at your own quote, particularly the part where it says, "The Press Trust of India quoted..."

So, Fox was using a news source from India that was quoting an Indian official. That was not Fox making their own claim.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 5
Would you like the video link to Sean Hannity repeating it?

He still references it.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane -5
Now, you're confusing commentary with news. Hannity is not a news reporter. He's going to add some amount of shock value to his discussion.

I'd be interested if you have a video of Shepard Smith or Bret Baier adding shock value.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane -4
One more... I've not been a fan of the GOP since they went right along with growing the size of government, including the creation of the TSA. They kept issuing spending bills and pork waste and 43 signed off on it. Debt grew by $5T under Bush and Obama rightfully blasted Bush over it.

Then Obama grew the debt himself by $8T, so far with much more to come before we're rid of him.

I'm doubting you're a pilot so this probably doesn't matter. Obama has grounded more pilots with his constant use of TFRs than Bush ever did. He's caused hundreds of flight instructors to give up their income for the duration of his presence, from a day to more than a week. Obama is no fan of liberty.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 4
17,000+ hours, 747 Captain since 1991, Cessna 170 owner.

And FYI, TFRs weren't an Obama invention. Considering he has spent more time in DC than Bush did your depiction of the economic impact on CFIs would seem to be flawed.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane -6
I didn't say they were an Obama invention. But they've done more harm to GA under Obama than Bush. Bush spent much of his time in Crawford where the TFR was minimal though still a pain at Waco and TSTC.

Just a trip to Chicago, count the number of airports he affects. Or, when in Houston or Dallas? When he showed up in Austin, he affected five airports. TFRs deny others' liberty. No president's security is more valuable than any American's liberty and certainly their right to pursuit of happiness by way of earning an income. Their political party doesn't matter.

As for Obama's more time in DC... I'm thinking their travel history debunks that one. Then there's the waste like a couple weeks ago when he took AF1 to be on one show and his first windbag took another plane on the same day to the same area to be on another show.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/mar/13/obama-first-lady-flew-separate-planes-la-same-day/

I'm sure the pilots in the LA basin loved that.

DC-8 and G-1, eh?
babyrne
Barry Byrne 6
Yes, DC-8 and G-1. Hot air balloons too, did you miss that?

Apparently you didn't believe me about my ratings and checked the FAA database.

That's quite insulting Ken.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 0
It wasn't meant as insulting. Just an indicator you've been around a while and worked a variety of airframes. I did see balloon. Skipping it was not intended. It's just never been my flavor any more than flying trikes would be.

Yes, I did look but more out of curiosity. You had barely commented here and several times on this site there have been those who were quiet until they suddenly pipe up on some issue.

The most difficult customers I've ever had were those who claimed the most but in reality had the least. One guy had a fresh type rating for a Metroliner with commercial and CFI tickets less than six months old.

His gripe... he did not get the gold sticker to print his name on that Jeppesen used to provide with the master logbooks. He made such a big deal out of it, I not only blew through my profit on the book, I paid the cost to send the sticker to him requiring his personal signature to receive it at the post office.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 1
You were trying to DOX me.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 0
Not at all. I just looked it up. Many flying heavy metal as long as you have has likely had some other interesting airframe experience. I was curious.

If I were going to "DOX" you, I'd provide the link and/or all the data.

I merely pointed to a couple old airframes I find interesting. The amateurs make a big deal out of a G-V or maybe a G-IV. They wouldn't have a clue the "G-I" had props. With the gear up, they'd probably call it a DC-3.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 1
If you're going to say your Liberty is being infringed upon, then show me where flying is a Right.

You might as well claim that MOAs impede your Liberty. Try flying from Las Vegas direct to Tonopah and see how that works out.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 1
An airman certificate is a privilege just as is a driver's license. But earning a living is a right. As long as the privilege is in hand, the right to use it for its intended purpose should not be infringed any more than the right to speak out against that VIP TFR.

You fly through MOAs at your own risk. I'm quite familiar with them and teaching students about them. Two things Texas is not short on is MOAs and wind turbines.
preacher1
preacher1 3
At the risk of getting caught up in this, I kinda have to agree on the TFR's as they are a PITA and Texas has plenty of MOA's. That's my story and I'm sticking to it and outa here. Long live The Onion.
babyrne
Barry Byrne 1
Aren't you afraid those wind turbines will slow down the rotation of the planet?

I'll bet that whole Jade Helm thing REALLY interfered with your liberties, eh?
WALLACE24
WALLACE24 1
The wind turbines I see when flying will have no effect on earth's rotation because almost all are not turning.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 1
I've seen them still more than I've seen them turning. But according to ERCOT (Texas' grid management), the turbines contribute just over 10% to Texas total power usage. But what did it cost to get there?
WALLACE24
WALLACE24 1
A huge factor more than those pesky coal and gas generators. And the worst is the taxpayer got scammed.
WALLACE24
WALLACE24 1
Oh ya, they can be hazardous to your health in a light plane when it's not the instructor saying engine failure. Lol
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 0
Nope but they make things interesting when telling a student they have ten seconds to find a place to put the bird down.

The only issue I had with Jade Helm was it was being so secretive and it's taking place all around small towns like Bastrop to the east of me. Many locals don't have a clue what is actually happening.
Bobqat
Ferzample...?
babyrne
Barry Byrne 4
Oh, let's try Jade Helm is going to lock up all the "patriots" in tunnels under WalMart.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 0
Seriously?
Tiggerflute
Martha Aarons 2
I don't know where to click "reply" here, but as you all know, there is an admonition on this website that all contributions be about aviation. Good natured humor (in addition to being edifying ) is what makes them fun, and in most of what I've encountered in Squawks, contributors have not taken the bait when someone introduces provocative remarks about politics. This conversation has ceased to be either interesting or amusing, and departed a long way from being about aviation. Politics is as divisive a topic as there is. Can we please just live and let live and leave the political ranting to the damn airways where we all get over-saturated with it anyway?
wopri
Let's just remember the etymology of the word politics. Poly is from the Greek word poly meaning many, and tics is from the anglo-saxon word tick meaning blood suckers. so let's keep it out.
preacher1
preacher1 3
It seems that everybody has to get on a soapbox now before looking at the source of a news article. The Onion has long been known as a source of total satire and just poking fun at everyday situations anyway, hopefully to get us away from being so dang serious about things and to lighten up just a little. It's a shame that some can't.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 1
The only things I take seriously are when a student tries to kill me and when a controller gives me a phone number. so far, the count is two and zip.

Hopefully, I'll get a walk and no strikes.
jjc7410
JIm` C 6
Comair has had this feature for years. Of course it was the knees of the guy behind you, but the effect is all the same.
CYUL
Paul Scalzo 5
The Onion strikes again!
allanrbowman
Allan Bowman 3
This "news" is the Onion.com a satirical site. Geeze guys, cool down.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 3
I can't help but think there's more truth to this than said! ;-)
migsheep
Once while on a trip to Mexico we stopped to use the restroom. A kid was stationed at the door charging an entrance fee and offering toilet paper squares at 25 cents each. I hope the airlines don't learn about this!
Bobqat
When did RyanAir begin serving Mexico?
Doobs
Dee Lowry 1
GroupViva, new airline which is the developer of Ryanair and Grupo, IAMSA, the largest bus company in Mexico. It's been flying in Mexico since 2006 under the name "NivaAerobus. Then there's the sister operation, Viva Columbia wgich started in 2012. Flying A320's.
allanrbowman
Allan Bowman 2
Airlines install seats with "active pitch" control to automatically lengthen or shorten the spacing between seats. This enables them to pack more passengers into the aircraft. Extra seats pop out of the floor when needed.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 3
Gosh, there sure are enough wadded up panties over this post. Yes, there is a serious side of flying and aviation. Yes, those issues must be discussed. And often you'll see them discussed by the professionals, wishful professionals, wannabe professionals and sometimes even serious pilots. There's also the fun side and some funny sides. Let it all be discussed. Learn something sometimes and other times enjoy a laugh.

Or, another way to put it...

Lighten up, Francis.
dee9bee
dee9bee 3
April 1st already? How time flies! Actually, I rode on a new A321 last month and was pleasantly surprised. It featured two smaller seatback pockets that allowed for more knee space, even with the seatback in front of me reclined. My flight lasted only three hours but I felt that I could have tolerated a transcon. This was in regular coach, no premium sort of seating.

preacher1
preacher1 1
Lord Help us all now that the Onion has found FA. LOL
randy3
randy3 1
Most airlines already have a good handle on making air travel as uncomfortable as possible....with the help of TSA...
rarebear14
Dolf Brouwers 1
😜
PeterMcDevitt
It's a good thing that I read the entire article. Did you notice? It's from The Onion. Hahahaha
PeterMcDevitt
I just hope that RyanAir didn't take this seriously!!!
GeoAnas
Geo Anas 1
Actually Ryanair has become much better the recent years. I pay half the other airlines to fly (without checked in luggage) and the main difference is that you have to buy your food and drinks...
No obsession with weighing your bag, no boarding like a rugby team on attack, flights generally on time, seats as confortable as in Lufthansa and the staff is nice (although they still sell thoses lottery coupons).
If landing was not like throwing a sack of potatoes on the ground, it would be perfect.
joelwiley
joel wiley 1
You don't even need the sarcasm font to the this one!
iflypvt01
Thank goodness that I fly for a private firm...... This is yet another attempt
For airlines to make money. Unfair!
joelwiley
joel wiley 1
Your employer will be adding them soon, according to the Onion.
17dec1903
17dec1903 1
Excellent article! Good to see FlightAware readers enjoying a bit of humor and sarcasm once in a while! I've always wondered how sites like The Onion can get away with "quoting" real people in their fake articles (like Jeff Smisek's quotation in this particular article).
watkinssusan
a "tongue in cheek" article I presume!!!?? we all know however that airline seats (except the leather ones in frst or business class) are basically cardboard, a piece of an old innerspring mattress for the botton covered with fabric, and a squished couch cushion for the back!
nathansthepilot
Nathan Cox 1
Okay, this wss the least productive thing I've read all day.
joelwiley
joel wiley 1
Or written, in all likelihood.
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 1
It is for me, too. I slept horribly last night then had to get early so I can ship about 140 packages. But this provides a moment for my brain to exceed its limitations.

I've redlined four times.

Now, back to previously scheduled, robotic tasks.
Doobs
Dee Lowry 1
Thanx for sharing, Nathan.
dodger4
dodger4 -1
I really don't understand their motivations here...the seats are uncomfortable enough already. Installing bumps is going to cost more money, which cost wll be passed on to passengers, adding to their discomfort. If they really want to make us incomfortable, they should just use all the old tired intolerant bitchy hags for F/As who should have retired years ago. That would add immeasurably to our discomfort.

[This comment has been downvoted. Show anyway.]

joelwiley
joel wiley 9
This is a non-emergency discussion site. If you have an emergency, call 911 or 1 (800) 621-3362 (FEMA).
Crap, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
aryfrosty
Alan Yates -1
Point taken, however the onion and its fanatics are crap and non-productive. There are always some who read this drivel and never seem to realize that their chain is being yanked.
preacher1
preacher1 3
The chain yanking will always be there and cause some to overflow with righteous indignation and go on a rant. For the rest of us, we need a break and a laugh every now and then.
joelwiley
joel wiley 1
The scary part about them is that they also vote.
aryfrosty
Alan Yates -6
I am unaccustomed to reading anything the onion produces. I find them to be irritating and intrusive and simply not funny. They have no point and produce only distaste when I see then.
Tiggerflute
Martha Aarons 4
I agree with Matt. No one is forcing you to read every article or Squawk. If so many of us get a kick out of it (and I don't mean from the kid or guy sitting in the seat behind!) you don't have to rain on our parade.
thecohorts
Matt LaMay 4
Then you should not read the articles.
Doobs
Dee Lowry 1
Lighten up, Alan! It's a joke. But then again it's not far from the truth! Went to Spain on Delta, in Business Class and the seat was just what they portrayed. Unbelievable!
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 1
I assume you feel the same way about anything produced by Congress or Obama?

[This comment has been downvoted. Show anyway.]

WhiteKnight77
WhiteKnight77 2
Maybe go to the doctor?
DerekCooks
Derek Thomas 3
Someone's had a Funny Bonectomy....
KennyFlys
Ken Lane 1
Says the person who last contributed... when?

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